Somedays I don’t, but then…

Paul and I have been married 11 years, and for the past 9 years have not used any artificial *ahem* measures to prevent pregnancy. In all that time we have had one amazing daughter, 3 miscarriages, and a lot of frustrating, painful waiting and wondering.

Most times, it doesn’t really occur to me to think about it. I mean, I’m already busy with being a wife, a mom to Jadyn, and working a full-time job in ministry. And sometimes when I DO think about it, I think I’m too old to be starting over with a newborn after finally having a walking, talking, self-feeding little person in my care.

But then I see one. A baby. Happy, healthy, cute, pink, warm, snuggly.

And I want another. All over again. And I wonder if it will ever happen, or if it’s too late for me.

I lament the possibility that Jadyn could be an only child. We both wanted at least 2. And then there those “nice” people who keep asking, “So when are you going to give her a brother or sister?” Or they say to her, “Tell your mommy you want to be a big sister!”

I have no idea. I keep telling them to ask God. That’s what I’ve been doing.